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The “body positive” movement is a recent development designed to help people with marginalized shapes learn to love their bodies. The projecting of that desire onto others also means we can’t believe we would ever be attractive to anyone else. If we believe that we all want the same body, and ours doesn’t fit, we are rejecting ourselves. We measure ourselves against that image and assume that others are attracted to the same form. We also have an internal image of the type of person to whom we are attracted. While doing so, he said, “Delicious!” My immediate thought was: Does he see what I see when I look in the mirror? The answer to that question is “No.” As we approached each other, he put his finger beneath my chin and slid it down to my nether region. I was at a gay resort a few years back, and while walking back to my room from the pool, I met a man on the sidewalk. They prize masculinity by demonizing femininity. Although not true for all gay muscle builders, some gay men may have a fear of appearing effeminate and compensate for it by a more extreme desire for a powerful physique. Gay men must conform to cultural norms as well as those in the gay community. They valued this ideal more than their health and well-being. Men in this study, on average, wanted twenty-five more pounds of muscle and eight pounds less body fat. The ideal for men is strong and athletic, V-shaped, with leanness and muscle definition. Satisfaction with our self-image relates to how we measure our own body against an internalized image of an idealized body.Īccording to a study of college men at the University of Nebraska, the idealized masculine body exists on two axes: muscle and fat. The picture we have of our bodies includes body size, muscle and fat composition, our emotional response to our bodies, and confidence about our attractiveness. The cultural perception of men as protected from issues of body image is false. Discrimination against fat men and women increased dramatically, and bias against weight resulted in discrimination in employment, healthcare, and education.
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Had I spoken up to him, the likely response would have been, “Don’t be such a fucking sissy.”įortunately, he probably couldn’t get away with it now, but in the early 1960s, real men were supposed to be able to take it and give it back.Īs Western culture evolved, men were supposed to be tough and fat men were considered to be lazy, unmotivated, lacking in self-discipline, sloppy, and inadequate. Maybe he wanted to piss us off, hoping we’d transfer that anger onto our opponents, but the only person on the football field I wanted to hurt was Coach Pappy. We heard often enough as young men This will make a man out of you. I suppose he may have meant to toughen us up. All of us had vulnerabilities, and he sought them out. They knew they could be the next victim of Coach Pappy’s verbal assaults he hadn’t singled me out for his bullying.
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I hated exposing my naked body to anyone, so I always showered in a corner facing the wall.Īs we showered, Coach Pappy yelled at me, “Olson, with tits like that, you should wear a bra! Ha, Ha.” When I was about fifteen-years-old, I anxiously showered with my teammates after football practice. There, on my chest, visible to everyone, was physical evidence that I wasn’t quite a man.
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When that wasn’t possible, I always had a t-shirt handy. As a teenager, at the swimming pool, I either stood in shoulder-deep water or lay face down on my towel. I was always self-conscious about the size of my breasts.